Coparenting is an excellent arrangement for many divorced parents, but it only works if you can put the past behind you and focus on the children. This type of agreement won’t always be easy to handle and it’s important to plan for disagreements.
Always remember that how decisions impact the kids is the focal point of the parenting arrangement. If you and your ex are willing to compromise on all matters, you will find that things go smoothly.
Double think communication
Open communication is one of the hallmarks of coparenting, but this doesn’t mean that you should engage in mindless discussion. Instead, think about the message you are sending. Your interactions should always be respectful and should focus on what’s best for the kids.
If you are sending a written message, such as texts or emails, think about how your ex might perceive them. Reread them before you send them to see if there is anything that you need to change. It may also help if you gather your thoughts before addressing a situation that is likely to lead to a disagreement.
Focus on the positives
In every situation, you can find negatives. Instead of letting your mind automatically turn to these, think about what’s positive. This won’t happen automatically, so you have to work toward it. You might start with writing gratitude lists that outline what you are thankful for in specific situations.
If you are having trouble accepting your ex’s parenting style, focus a list on the positives from the relationship the kids have with them. This might help you to see that there are things that are going the way they should.
Take care of yourself
Stress and not feeling your best can make it difficult for you to think clearly. Take care of yourself by eating healthy foods and exercising. You should also ensure you get enough sleep and participate in activities you enjoy.
Besides helping you to feel better, this is an excellent example to set for the children. No matter what’s going on, self-care has to remain a priority. You might consider finding self-care activities, such as meditation or yoga, to do with the children that bolster your relationship with them.
Make sure that you have a solid parenting plan in place when you embark on the coparenting relationship. The plan should focus on what the kids need now because you can always work out a modification in the future.